Praying for a Holy Spouse- Part 2

Most of us grew up reading fairy tale stories where the princess is saved by her charming prince, they fall completely in love within seconds and they live happily ever after. Unfortunately, that is not how it works for most of us. Many Christian men and women struggle for years to find their holy spouse, the one God intended for them.

Below is part two of Audrey’s story of her journey to finding her holy spouse. In part 1, She shares her frustrations and heartaches that led her from feeling hopeless to trusting in the Lord's timing. You can read the full part 1 post here. In part two below, Audrey shares some guidance on how to prayerfully wait for a holy spouse.

Part 2:

I know from experience how frustrating the process of waiting can be - especially waiting to find your spouse. You know in your heart that you are called to marriage, and how much you desire to be with the holy spouse that God has set aside for you. But why should you have to wait? And why does it have to be so hard?

I’m here to tell you that waiting for your holy spouse doesn’t have to be so hard and frustrating. But first, let me answer why you might have to wait, as I did. Let me note that I only truly understood this in hindsight after finding my husband. My hope in sharing my experience of waiting with you is that you will understand this sooner than I did

In Isaiah 60:22, the Lord states, “When the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen.” This is our answer - we must wait because God’s timing is perfect. He alone knows your whole story. And therefore, He alone knows the perfect time when you and your holy spouse should meet and begin your lives together. Fun fact: my husband had the above Bible verse engraved on the inside of my engagement ring, referencing our mutual experience of waiting for each other.

The secret to making the period of waiting not so painstakingly hard is PRAYER. God is jealous and He wants all of us. We must remember to seek Him first always. Through prayer, we are then able to pour out the desires of our hearts and turn them over to God. Psalm 37:4 tells us to “delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” It is when we trust God in all things and share everything with him, including the pain, frustration, and sorrow we feel, that we find renewed strength and courage to take on the battle of waiting.

Prayer is powerful! I know because it is how and why I met my husband. I spent years of my young adult life in prayer, pleading to God to send me the holy man He had set aside for me. Here are just a few ways I prayerfully embraced the waiting:

1. Pray intentionally daily

   • Pray for God’s perfect timing in finding your holy spouse.

   • Pray for your holy spouse and that God guides, protects, and prepares his or her heart for you.

   • Pray that God guides, protects, and prepares your heart for your holy spouse.

   • I found the following prayer online and prayed it daily. This prayer holds a very special place in my heart. Tune back in for part 3 to find out why.

2. Write a list of everything you desire for your spouse to be and turn it over to God. He is the ultimate matchmaker.

• You can include physical attributes as well as personal interests, but also try to include attributes of the heart too.

• Both my husband and I made our own lists of what we desired for our future spouses to be like. We had to be flexible on a few things, haha, but nobody’s perfect.

3. On special days and holidays when you feel most alone, turn to God and give to Him.

• One year on Valentine’s Day, I bought a rose and gave it as a gift to God.

4. Listen to the song Wait for Me by Rebecca St. James.

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1thVi6T9rEo

• I used to listen to this song on repeat and it would give me such comfort.

5. Read books that prepare you for finding your future holy spouse and for marriage.

• I love to read and there are some great books to read as you wait. Here are just a few I read:

  • How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul by Jason and Crystalina Evert

  • The Right One: How to Successfully Date and Marry the Right Person by Jimmy Evans and Frank Martin

  • Three to Get Married by Fulton Sheen

  • 101 Tips for Marrying the Right Person: Helping Singles Find Each Other, Contemplate Marriage, and Say I Do

  • Pure: A 90 Day Devotional for the Mind, the Body, and the Spirit by Rebecca St. James

6. Write letters to your future spouse.

• I wrote a few letters here and there and later shared them with my husband after we were married.

7. As you date, be discerning.

• Be prayerful and discerning as you date different people. Ask God to guide you to the right person. Someone once told me to be picky in choosing my husband and never settle.

8. To meet the right person, you have to be the right person.

• Be the holy spouse you want your future spouse to be. For example, if you want a spouse centered in prayer, cultivate your own prayer life.

9. Embrace the suck and share it with God.

• God wants us to share everything with Him-the good, the bad, and the ugly. Tell Him how you really feel, even if it is ugly. He understands and can help better than anyone else.

10. Find joy in this stage of life of singleness as God prepares your heart for what is to come.

• I know this is easier said than done. Believe me, I struggled greatly with this. It’s okay for this to be a messy process. But, remember that “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

"As in all things, walk with God in prayer and trust and He will direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:6). After many years of waiting and praying, God led me to my holy spouse. I couldn’t be more grateful for my husband and how God unfolded our story. While the waiting was long and frustrating, it was absolutely worth it to be given the gift of the love story God wrote for my husband and I.

God is writing your story too. And if marriage is a part of His plan for you, then rest assured He will reveal His specially crafted love story to you in His perfect timing.

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